Christianito and other thoughts

I had several thoughts this morning that I felt are worth writing down...

This morning I woke up in a sleepy haze - my cousin and I played WoW last night. In a previous life as teenagers, tweens and below we would play computer games for hours upon end. At times we would go all night conquering the monsters or saving the universe. WoW has been a refreshing journey back to those days, allowing for us to reconnect - to talk, to play, and be spontaneous. Anyways as I woke up this morning, I sat on the side of the bed to collect my thoughts and make sure I didn't fall over when I stood (I'm a little slow for the first hour or so normally). Sitting on the side of the bed, I noticed my protruding belly and thought to myself "I am fat in all areas of my life." My discipline for prayer, studying the word, exercise, and more are all but non-existent. As I read "My Utmost For His Highest" I was reminded of sanctification and our purpose.

In American culture, we are very goal oriented. Job performance, church growth, etc are all measured with various metrics. We seek to quantify everything, reducing our pursuit of relationships, identity, career, etc. into "To Do" lists. It's only natural that this would spill over into the "spiritual component" of our lives. I believe this very idea to be a fallacy - compartmentalizing our spirituality into another area which is either partially or fully separate from our work or home "life".

My Utmost said this today:

The characteristic of a disciple is not that he does good things, but that he is good in his motives, having been made good by the supernatural grace of God. The only thing that exceeds right-doing is right-being.

We must seek to be holy, not act holy. We must be righteous, not act righteous or simply do righteous things. When our actions supersede our motive (which should be to glorify God and draw closer to him) we become like the Pharisees.

My challenge to you and me today is this: What are the pursuits, the passions of your life? Are you striving to be a good worker, husband, gamer, mother, etc but not striving to be righteous? If so any one of those pursuits has become an idol!

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
--Matthew 6:33 (NASB)

The title of the post is "Christianito" because I was called that by two wonderful elderly Dominicans today. Tobias stands at our gate during the day. He is in his 70s but walks up the hill to our campus every day. He always opens the door with a smile, friendly wave and "a su orden" (at your service). Maria (who called me Christianito first) is also in her 70s. She comes to the school several days a week to clean the campus, but each time I see her I am inspired. Maria is, without a doubt, the strongest woman and hardest worker I have ever met. It amazes me to watch her go above and beyond her duties to keep our campus clean. Though it is not part of her responsibilities, she will scrub the sidewalks to get rid of mold. I see her carrying large carpets, moving logs, and smiling with a strength that is not found in most people. You would never know it by looking at her, but she suffers from brain tumors. There are times they give her terrible headaches that bring tears to her eyes. But her lips and heart smile.

These two people are my little glimpses of Christ each day. They work with a humble spirit, cheerful heart, and dedication to their task. Unassuming, they would never call attention to the difficulty of their job. Maria and Tobias smile, they have joy in their circumstances, and they share that joy with others. I was honored to be called "Christianito" (little Christian, or inferred as being called Christian in an affectionate way) by them this morning.

Travel Plans

For those of you interested, here are my travel plans:
11 August: Fly to Minneapolis
12 August: Possibly speak in Forest Lake
13 August: In Minneapolis, then travel to Rochester, MN
14-17 August: Rochester, MN then travel to Buffalo, MN
18 August: Travel to Kulm, BBQ for my HS class


to be continued...

Update from Mayo

The Mayo clinic reviewed the results. They said some of the lab results are conflicting, and further evaluation is necessary. A kidney biopsy is likely, but they will not be sure until they evaluate me.

Thus, I requested an appointment for August 8th, and they are going to let me know if that works. If it does, I will fly into Minneapolis on August 6th and travel to Rochester on the 7th.

**Update** The earliest appointment at Mayo is on August 14th. This might affect my flight dates, but I will keep you posted.

I am excited and nervous at the same time. On one hand I'm anxious to see the Mayo clinic, spend time with family, and know what is going on. On the other hand, knowing what is going on is proving to be stressful. Please pray that I continue to rely on God for my strength.

Seeing the Dr. in the D.R.

Let's face it...I'm used to the medical system in the U.S.A. Admittedly, it's not the best in the world, but it is what I'm accustomed to. So, for better or worse, I wade through the Dominican health care system.

Several months ago, I noticed that my legs were swelling. I would notice it at the end the day when I took my socks off. There would be an indentation around my leg at the top of where my sock was. I thought this was odd, but because I wasn't in any physical pain, I ignored it. Eight weeks later, I went home to the USA for my grandmother's funeral. My brother Andrew noticed this one night and recommended I go to the doctor to get it checked out. Here is a summary of that journey:

Visit #1 -
I went to a trusted doctor in Jarabacoa. She recommended doing some blood/urine analysis. The following day I went and peed/bled/waited for results.

Visit #2 -
We reviewed the results. Cholesterol and triglyceride levels were high. They also found trace elements of blood in my urine in the microscopic exam. Combined with the blood pressure reading of 130/88, she recommended an ultrasound on my kidneys.

Visit #3 -
Went to get the ultrasound that afternoon. Found out I wasn't supposed to eat beforehand. Told to come back tomorrow.

Visit #4 -
Went again for the ultrasound. Found I had large kidneys (enlarged, the doctor said).

Visit #5 -
Follow up visit with the original doctor. Referred to a kidney specialist in Santiago.

Visit #6 -
First visit with kidney doctor. More bloodwork, urine sample, another ultrasound. One of the more exciting aspects of this visit was the up coming 24 hour urine sample (more on that later).


**24 hours of pee**

Basically I had a gallon jug given to me by the lab in Santiago. I was to pee in this everytime I had to go for 24 hours. It was to remain cold, thus it stayed in our fridge in between. Two ways my life was changed by this experience: 1) I've never had urine in my own fridge, sitting next to the OJ, etc. 2) I've never had to plan daily events around my pee schedule.

Visit #7 -
Brought the sample back to Santiago - in a cooler on ice. Went over other test results with doctor. Kidneys are normal size, cholesterol/triglycerides elevated, low protein in blood.

**In the meantime**
Test results came back for the 24 urine sample. In the DR when you get lab work done you:
1. Get a referral for the tests
2. Pay in advance for the work
3. Have the tests done
4. Wait 24-48 hours for the results
5. Go to the lab yourself, pick up the results (in an envelope), bring them to the doctor
6. Doctor hand copies them into her hand-written file for you (despite having a laptop on her desk)

Visit #8 -
Doctor had recommended biopsy. I called the Mayo clinic in Rochester (#2 kidney place in the USA, have relatives that work there), Mayo told me the doctor needed to make the referral. Doctor didn't want to make the referral call without me in the office, and oh - I needed to bring some phone cards so the doctor could call. So we came down to Santiago again. Waited for several hours, went in and made the call. They barely spoke to the doctor and spent most time getting my info.

*In the meantime up to present time*

We are waiting for the Mayo doctors to look at the results. Odds are I'll need a biopsy and will be flying back to the USA soon. Keep us in your prayers! God has been good to us throughout this ordeal, in spite of my hatred of doctor visits.

kidneys, cold jelly, and paper work.

kidneys...

so my legs have been retaining liquid (edema, I believe it's called). I'm one of those "if it doesn't hurt I don't go to the Dr." kind of guys, but my brother who is a nurse talked me into it. One check up led to another...and another. First checkups said my blood pressure was high (130/88) and my kidneys were enlarged (found in a sonogram.) Also, my cholesterol is 222 and my triglyceride level is 270 (both high). Plus the fact that I'm about 40 lb. over my "ideal" weight...anyways the Doctor thought it was kidney stones (wasn't, as revealed by the sonogram), so she referred me to a kidney-ologist in Santiago.

Well you may or may not know...I *love* going to the Doctor's office. In my opinion, it's about as fun as cavities, paying taxes, and shopping for insurance. Nonetheless off we went for a fun-filled day at Union Medico in Santiago. We waited...and waited...and waited some more. All the while without eating, mind you, as I was going to get lab work done. The Doctor wanted further lab tests done (about 20 things in blood/urine).

Thankfully, this visit revealed several things: #1, my blood pressure is perfectly normal (120/80)

cold jelly...

after the lab work, we went to the sonografista's office. One thing I really, truly love (no sarcasm here...really) about this country is the price of medical care. A sonogram (ultrasound) is about 15 bucks. but, the jelly they put on your belly, is cold! I've been in many a time (7) for Julie to get ultrasounds of Lara, but never experienced it myself...so this week I had the honor of receiving two! Turns out, my kidneys are not enlarged as the jarabacoa doctor says...he's just comparing them to the average Dominican (who is, admittedly, much smaller than I).

paper work...

above all, I love bureaucracy, paper work, and waiting. I got my share of this preparing Lara's paper work. One would think having a child overseas would be easy. well, *having* the child is easy but making her an American is a bit more difficult. copy this, don't sign this (or this) yet., get the in extensa this, report all times out of country. prove you were in country, prove you are the father, prove you are the husband. et cetera, et cetera.

well, I dotted my i's and crossed my t's (twice) and, lo/behold, I did it right! (yay!) Lara'a paperwork was accepted, and we have an interview on September 28 to get her officially "American-made."

Keep that in prayer. In other news, Julie's paper work is trudging forward. We received some good news today, she only needs a police certificate from one place rather than three. other good news, she really isn't a criminal! her paperwork came back clean. :)

we'd love to hear from you. feel free to: comment! e-mail! call!

Immigration Reform

*sigh* My wife has been waiting for over a year, and we are only in the middle of the visa process. She has been unable to see my hometown, missed my grandmother's funeral, and continues to miss out on family gatherings and the opportunity to see things and people that mean so much to me.

I ask that you take a moment and send a revised copy of this letter to your senators and representatives, on my behalf, and on behalf of all those American citizens who are stuck waiting for permission to bring their spouse home. Please send this letter on to those that you know so they can send a copy too. Let's bring this issue to the forefront of American politics!

To contact your senator, go to this page: http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm


--

Honorable Senator :

I am writing this letter to call to your attention the issue of immigration reform for American citizens who marry foreigners. This process is marred with inefficient procedures, a severe shortage of staff, and a large backlog of cases. It is my hopes that after reading this letter you will take the appropriate action, and raise this issue to the forefront on behalf of all the American citizens you serve.

Consider the example of Peter and Julie Schott (NVC Reference #: SDO2006705033):

Their paperwork arrived at the National Visa Center in August. They had to then wait six to eight weeks for the paperwork to arrive. Much of this information was redundant, and had already been given to the US government on previous paperwork. Several months after the NVC received the paperwork, Peter and Julie were notified that they required more information. The NVC would not tell them what this information was over the phone, fax, or e-mail! They were required to wait another six weeks to receive this information package!

Senator, the way American citizens and their foreign spouses are treated by this system is disgraceful. It disgusts me to think that American citizens should be required to wait several years before his/her spouse can travel to the USA. Recent attention has been given to countless Americans whose travel plans have been affected by the new passport requirements. However, Peter's wife recently missed his grandmother's funeral because she was unable to travel. Many of Peter's friends and family have yet to meet their newborn child, because his wife cannot travel to the USA.

Senator, I ask you to consider this for a moment. Imagine your wife was not able to leave her home state because she was waiting over a year for permission. Put yourself in those shoes and ask yourself if you would be outraged, and what you would do about it. Then I beg you to take those same actions on behalf of myself, the countless other American citizens who are wading through this hopeless and degrading system. Take this issue to the forefront, call for action in the following areas:
1. Improvement in the application process.
2. Decreased waiting times for completion.
3. Increased staffing levels to end the case backlog.

I appreciate your work as my state Senator. Your record reflects a commitment to the values of our state and a listening ear to its residents. Thank you for your attention to this letter.

Sincerely,

fatherhood

People often ask me what it's like to be a father. While it is hard to put exactly into words, I will do my best to highlight a few of the emotions, etc. that come with being "Dad". Even as I try to write this now, I find myself stopping. This sense of heaviness, joy, gratitude, and responsibility fills my chest.

I love my daughter more than anyone or anything (with the exception of God.) It is humbling to know that God has entrusted you with one of his children. There is joy in her smiles, my heart breaks when she cries, and I am filled with pride and admiration for my wife as she becomes a mother (a darn good one, at that!)

I don't know what my daughter's future holds. She is healthy and thriving, and for that we have been blessed. On the other hand, if she had been sick and feeble, we would have been blessed in that, too. As I watch her grow I am amazed by how quickly she changes. I understand now why parents are so thrilled by the little developments made by children. I've felt the fear of sleeping half-awake during Lara's first days in case she choked. I'm beginning to understand the awesome responsibility of motherhood.

Being a father increases my awareness and understanding of God's love. I would gladly lay my life down for Lara, and have a small glimpse at the pain God must have felt in watching Jesus suffer.

I want my daughter to grow up fearing and loving the Lord. Being around her challenges me to live out my faith authentically. At the same time, I must be prepared for the thought that she may, for a season, rebel against faith and truth. In those moments, I must love her the same as when she is good. My humanity rebels against unconditional love (both giving and receiving) but being a father puts that issue right in the forefront of my life.

Total Surrender (My Utmost for His Highest, March 12)

Our Lord replies to this statement of Peter by saying that this surrender is "for My sake and the gospel’s" (10:29). It was not for the purpose of what the disciples themselves would get out of it. Beware of surrender that is motivated by personal benefits that may result. For example, "I’m going to give myself to God because I want to be delivered from sin, because I want to be made holy." Being delivered from sin and being made holy are the result of being right with God, but surrender resulting from this kind of thinking is certainly not the true nature of Christianity. Our motive for surrender should not be for any personal gain at all. We have become so self-centered that we go to God only for something from Him, and not for God Himself. It is like saying, "No, Lord, I don’t want you; I want myself. But I do want You to clean me and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. I want to be on display in Your showcase so I can say, ’This is what God has done for me.’ " Gaining heaven, being delivered from sin, and being made useful to God are things that should never even be a consideration in real surrender. Genuine total surrender is a personal sovereign preference for Jesus Christ Himself.

Where does Jesus Christ figure in when we have a concern about our natural relationships? Most of us will desert Him with this excuse—"Yes, Lord, I heard you call me, but my family needs me and I have my own interests. I just can’t go any further" (see Luke 9:57-62 ). "Then," Jesus says, "you ’cannot be My disciple’ " (see Luke 14:26-33 ).

True surrender will always go beyond natural devotion. If we will only give up, God will surrender Himself to embrace all those around us and will meet their needs, which were created by our surrender. Beware of stopping anywhere short of total surrender to God. Most of us have only a vision of what this really means, but have never truly experienced it.

--

I read this selection from My Utmost for His Highest, and it put this simple truth of the Christian life into a completely new perspective. Please prayerfully consider how God might use this message to change your perspective too.

Happy BDay Lara Esther Schott!

She was born today. I'll get to the details later, but I wanted to post some photos.
Lara Esther Schott
Born around 5 am (C-Section)
8 lb
22 inches long

a healthy screamer, fortunately she is consolable.

also check out her first video, taken when she was about 10 min old:

http://www.theschottfamily.org/movies/babyvid.mpg

prayer requests

Please pray for:

1. Continued safety for Julie's pregnancy. Things have been fine thus far, and the baby appears healthy. We hope that continues! Pray for peace, rest, good relationship with her mother, and less pain on her back and stomach.
2. Blessings on the ND Prairie Partners. The trip has been fruitful, they have overcome challenges and are continuing to grow.
3. Peter's health and sanity. I have a lot going on! Don't pity me, though - I brought it all on myself. I'm taking a challenging Seminary class, working full-time, being a husband, preparing to be a father and much more! Please pray for my relationships with the children. I will write more about this later, but it has been very challenging lately.
4. Financial concerns - Please pray that God teaches us to use wisely the resources he has given us. This is a new perspective for me, I would previously pray for more support, etc. Now I want to be a better steward of what we have.

Feel free to e-mail or call us: peteyjulie@gmail.com or 701-526-3331

North Korea - Children of the Secret State

This is a documentary I watched today about the conditions in North Korea. Take a moment and watch it...I dare you not to feel moved by it.

little blessings

God's word has been such a blessing, first the Psalms I quoted earlier, then 1 Peter today. I read it from "The Message" and it was very encouraging.

I'll leave you with a brief quote from 1 Peter 4:12-19

12 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; 13 but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation. 14 If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15 Make sure that none of you suffers as a murderer, or thief, or evildoer, or a troublesome meddler; 16 but if anyone suffers as a Christian, he is not to be ashamed, but is to glorify God in this name. 17 For it is time for judgment to begin with the household of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 AND IF IT IS WITH DIFFICULTY THAT THE RIGHTEOUS IS SAVED, WHAT WILL BECOME OF THE GODLESS MAN AND THE SINNER? 19 Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.

angst...part II

Here is an e-mail I recently sent to a few friends, but it is fitting to share with all, as it relates to the struggle I am going through:

thank you for this. it is difficult to accept. I wish I could say I'm feeling better, but I'm not. hah...even as writing this, the song on the radio is "he will carry you." God's promises are everywhere.

sometimes I just want the obstacles out of the way so I don't need to grow or feel the hurt, but God anxiously waits to walk through the valleys with us, through the obstacles. they bring us closer to his presence, something of great comfort and fear.

I do wish we would communicate more...I would like to enter into a deeper fellowship of community with you and rivers, but that requires deliberate work. here in the DR I am surrounded by a community of believers - who live, worship, work, and struggle together. I grew up in a small town, but didn't even begin to understand what community is until I came here. I long for depth, investment, to be able to worship and weep with one another, tearing down all the walls we try to build and let the iron sharpen iron. What stops us as a body from doing so? Nothing can seperate us from God's love, yet at times the chasm seems as far as the east is from the wsst, so close yet seemingly unattainable. There is so much growth that God has for me in the coming months, I am eager and I resist.

I am deeply confused with where God is taking Vicente's project, and the relationship between Rivers and the Dominican Republic. There is so much that could be done! Yet I do not know clearly what is to be accomplished. "Be still and know that I am God" I hear...sometimes I just go and go and go, and not take time to stop and listen. busyness, stress, fear, and anxiety ensnare me, and I am tossed back and forth against these rocks like waves of the ocean against a rocky shore. my hands and body continue to be cut and bleed, and I continue to cling to those rocks of anxiety and busyness, yet the Rock that calms the storm waits.
Psalm 13:1-6
1 How long, O LORD? Will You forget R279 me forever? How long will R280 You hide Your face from me? 2 How long shall I take R281 counsel in my soul, Having sorrow R282 in my heart all the day? How long will my enemy be exalted over me? 3 Consider R283 and answer me, O LORD my God; Enlighten R284 my eyes, or I will sleep R285 the sleep of death, 4 And my enemy will say, R286 "I have overcome him," And my R287 adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken. 5 But I have trusted R288 in Your lovingkindness; My heart shall rejoice R289 in Your salvation. 6 I will sing R290 to the LORD, Because He has dealt R291 bountifully with me.

Psalm 6:1-7
1 O LORD, do R110 not rebuke me in Your anger, Nor chasten me in Your wrath. 2 Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am pining R111 away; Heal R112 me, O LORD, for my R113 bones are dismayed. 3 And my soul R114 is greatly dismayed; But You, O LORD--how R115 long? 4 Return, O LORD, rescue R116 my soul; F51 Save me because of Your lovingkindness. 5 For there R117 is no mention F52 of You in death; In Sheol F53 who will give You thanks? 6 I am weary R118 with my sighing; Every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with my R119 tears. 7 My eye R120 has wasted away with grief; It has become old because of all my adversaries.

Psalm 35:17-28
17 Lord, how R1021 long will You look on? Rescue my soul from R1022 their ravages, My only R1023 life from the lions. 18 I will give R1024 You thanks in the great congregation; I will praise R1025 You among a mighty throng. 19 Do R1026 not let those who are wrongfully my R1027 enemies rejoice over me; Nor let those who R1028 hate me without cause wink R1029 F309 maliciously. 20 For they do not speak peace, But they devise deceitful R1030 words against those who are quiet in the land. 21 They opened R1031 their mouth wide against me; They said, "Aha, R1032 aha, our eyes have seen it!" 22 You R1033 have seen it, O LORD, do R1034 not keep silent; O Lord, do R1035 not be far from me. 23 Stir R1036 up Yourself, and awake to my right And to my cause, my God and my Lord. 24 Judge R1037 me, O LORD my God, according to Your righteousness, And do R1038 not let them rejoice over me. 25 Do not let them say in their heart, "Aha, R1039 our desire!" Do not let them say, "We have swallowed R1040 him up!" 26 Let those R1041 be ashamed and humiliated altogether who rejoice at my distress; Let those be clothed R1042 with shame and dishonor who magnify R1043 themselves over me. 27 Let them shout R1044 for joy and rejoice, who favor my R1045 vindication; And let R1046 them say continually, "The LORD be magnified, Who delights R1047 in the prosperity of His servant." 28 And my R1048 tongue shall declare Your righteousness And Your praise all day long.

these verses echo the cry of my heart. I am also mindful of Psalm 51:12 "Restore to me the joy of your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit"

that is all I have for now, may the God of mercy shower you with grace and love as you walk in the Spirit, now and forever, Amen.

angst...

Tis the gift to be simple,
'tis the gift to be free,
'tis the gift to come down where you ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
It will be in the valley of love and delight.

Refrain:

When true simplicity is gained,
To bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed.
To turn, turn will be our delight,
'Til by turning, turning we come round right
http://www2.gol.com/users/quakers/simple_gifts.htm

Last night I awoke to my wife screaming because of a cockroach. I overreacted and treated her poorly. This display left me wide awake and I began to think about my wretched life. My priorities have fallen completely backwards! They have been:
(1) Work and Projects
(2) Myself
(3) My family
(4) God

How did this happen? I was trying to serve God and others, but made my focus on the things, not the relationship. My "walking with the Spirit" became a task, items on a checklist. Same goes with the relationship with my wife...Lord help and forgive me.

As I lay in bed, I pictured Vicente who was cleaning the garbage cans at work the other day, scooping garbage out with his bare hands. Now granted it's not part of his job and there are gloves, the image and idea brought me to tears. This man has received a vision from God to have an orphanage, take care of children, etc. He has a group committed to funding the construction of his new house which will one day become the orphanage. Yet no one will come over to build. Why, I ask. In tears, I beg God to send someone to build. I would if I knew how, but my hands have not been gifted in this area.

Life has no easy answers, and the concept of considering it pure joy when I face trials still baffles me at times.

It's a girl!

We had our "twenty week" appointment on Friday. For less than $10, I found out that pigtails, makeup, dresses, suitors (*gasp*), and having a "daddy's girl" were in my future.

I couldn't possibly be happier. :)

all things are possible...

So I'm teaching this Sunday school class on "The Celebration of Discipline" by Richard Foster, and we are currently going through a chapter on Solitude. During my prayer time last night, I asked God if he would wake me up this morning at 5:00 a.m. so I could spend some time in solitude with him and pray.

Well...this morning I woke to the noise of a dog barking outside. I was annoyed, wondering "Why is that stupid dog barking and not stopping?" I tried to ignore it but became more alert, and finally realized that I had asked God to wake me up at 5:00 a.m. I decided the prudent thing to do would be check the clock and see what time it was. Turned out it was 4:57 a.m., and God was giving me my wake up call! The dog kept barking until I got out of bed and was in the living room...it stopped and I didn't hear it the rest of the morning.

Thank you Lord for answering our silliest prayers in the most creative ways.

asking for help...

why is it so difficult for me? How far will God stretch me before I simply break? I secretly hope he never stops, but at the same time it pains me to let go.

homesickness...

...It's like a plague sometimes. I love life in Jarabacoa - the sun rises are amazing, the community we live in is like none other, life is so rich here yet a piece of my heart is yearning to be in North Dakota again. I long to spend a fall afternoon walking through sloughs hunting ducks. Or sledding at the dike in Fargo. I miss high school basketball, football games, Alive! practice, coffee with friends. Most of all, I miss my family. It hurts so much to be away for holidays or other celebrations like Micah's graduation (and both of Andrew's graduations...) Even more so just the day to day connectedness that I had with them. There are times I would give anything to snap my fingers and be 30 minutes into a three hour drive with one of my brothers, mom or dad. Perhaps to go golfing with dad and brothers on Fathers Day again.

It is a pain that never fully goes away. A scar that remains unclosed, and I desperatly cry out to God to heal it, but alas, he doesn't just take the pain away. There are times that I am thankful for that. Without this pain, without this longing, I would be severely lacking. I would take my family for granted. I would lose my dependence on God for my strength and peace. That would be a greater tragedy than the one I find myself amidst.

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

Immediacy...

I've been thinking a lot lately about the immediacy and "Get it now!" mentality of American culture. This is just a quick example that was frustrating to me...I was on the internet, looking for driving directions from san jose, CA to seattle, wa. I wanted a scenic route, etc but all the map services only had two options "quickest" or "shortest distance." What ever happened to a "Scenic Diversions" option or adding a few detours to the route?

"Random" Connections

This past week has been an amazing array of connections and introductions. I want to post an overview of them all for you.

Holy Week - Having just finished talking with Jose Abreu (Habitat for Humanity officer at the national headquarters here) the week before about a possible trip to Santo Domingo to present our community to their office, I sat in front of a gentleman on the bus with a habitat hat on. Being the inquisitive one that I am, I asked him about the hat. Turns out him and his wife had just done a habitat trip here and are friends with Jose...Imagine that!

Denice Colson - She pioneered a type of therapy that we use at our school. There is little/no empirical data to support it (other than testimonials) so I wrote her asking if there was any research to support the therapy. She wrote back the same day and basically offered to:
1. Work with us/me on a research project to collect data, which could lead to published research!
2. Come down to our school and do a training. It turns out that her brother-in-law is Dominican. Imagine that!

Community Meeting in La Quebrada - Tonight we had our long-anticipated community meeting in La Quebrada, more of an introductory thing to get to know the community better. Two days ago, I got the idea to invite Martin and Noemi, two Columbians who live and work here. Their church is connected with my contact in the community, so I thought they might want to be involved. The meeting went splendidly! The community is excited to get to work and eager for the groups. They have a burden for a preschool, as there are approximately 35 young children (under age 5) who just run around all day (some of them without real families.) It was almost scary how quickly the pieces started falling into place: Noemi getting excited about the project, buildings available for the short-term to run the school, people in the community with education backgrounds and the desire to get teaching certificates. We will see what God does with it!

Rick Mackey - So about one month ago, my cousin Dan mentions that he knows this guy who will be a missionary in the DR and I should get in touch with him, here's his e-mail address, etc. I forget about it for a month, but finally write him back. Guess where he's going to be living? In Jarabacoa working as a pastor and will be here this fall...Imagine that!

The God we serve is a great and powerful God!!!